#love archivos - The Resilient Human Project

Love VS Attachment

What is love and what is attachment? Many times, people misunderstand love. They think that holding on to someone is love. Jealousy, neediness and possession are often seen and accepted as proof of love. They think that fighting for love is love. They think that falling love is love. But these forms of love often have more to do with attachment than love. We are love; it is our natural state. However, normally we are too distracted by the ego to experience that. In Buddhist philosophy there are four elements − the four immeasurable thoughts: Loving-kindness (Pāli: mettā) − the wish that all sentient beings, without any exception, be happy.Compassion…

Anger is hell

Anger and its twin brother hatred are based on projections and exaggeration, not on objectivity or wisdom. Johnny was living in his own private hell, surrounded by people who just wouldn’t behave how they should. His need to be right was paramount. He was constantly frustrated that the world simply would not work the way it should. He was furious that people would not see him the way he wanted them to, the way they should. He often felt righteous in his anger and hatred. He couldn’t see that 'righteous hatred' is in the same category as 'righteous cancer' or 'righteous tuberculosis' − all utterly absurd concepts. The few friends…

Which sort of happiness do you prefer?

Happiness has become something of an obsession in our society. You only have to look around you; there are so many books, videos, blogs about the subject. In spite of this, there are still many anxious, depressed and unhappy people. Very few mention that the best way to find happiness is simply to stop searching. You have all that you need to be happy − right here, right now. So what do I mean when I talk about happiness? For many years I thought happiness and having a good time were the same thing. They are not! Having a good time is about aversion; it is about escaping your life…

How to find the right partner – stop looking!

It is one of the most common reasons for coming to see us in Cantabria. “I am without a partner. I want to find the man/woman of my life.” Finding a partner and having children is hardwired into most of us. It can feel like a hunger or emptiness that we have to fill. “I still haven’t met anyone suitable and time is running out!” Our evolutionary mission is to survive and procreate. We are driven to make this happen. My experience is that this drive is usually stronger in women than men, although many men do experience something similar but usually later in life. When we are in this…

Get out of your own way!

Relationships: enjoying yours whilst avoiding the pitfalls

Finding our “true love” and making a life with that person takes up an extraordinary amount of our time and energy. Here are 12 ideas to avoid making the most common mistakes: Most relationships end. So stop worrying and enjoy it here and now. You will at least take away great memories. If you waste your time worrying, you won’t even have those!Do not try to fix anyone… It is not in your power to do so. It will drive you and everyone else crazy. The question is this: Can you accept and be with that person just as they are right now?To be in a relationship is to be…

Thank you to my true love

We are in the 30th year of our relationship and the 29th year of our marriage. It has been quite a ride. I want to share with you some of the things I have learned and to say thank you to Rhea. When I met Rhea I was divorced, living alone. Rhea lived opposite with two little girls aged four and two. My previous marriage (which lasted four years was doomed from the beginning: two people in pain with very limited emotional and self-awareness, hoping that the other would fill the emotional hole. I had already spent some six years seeking truth, connection, peace and happiness. I had already “woken…

February 14th St. Valentine’s Day some advice for falling in love

“Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punish'd and cured is that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love too.” William Shakespeare We humans desire this “madness” like nothing else. It is probable we will all fall in love at some time in our lives. We can all remember our first “true love” whether that was at junior school, high school or university. The deliciousness of it, the new all-consuming sensations, the euphoria, pain, happiness, stress, desire, awe, connection and sometimes all at the…

Kindness is contagious

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. Lou Tzu My religion is kindness: Kindness to strangers, kindness to friends, Kindness to family, kindness to myself. It wasn’t always that way. Kindness is contagious. Even the smallest apparently insignificant act of kindness has great power to change. I know this both as giver and receiver. Kindness is contagious. Don’t wait for someone to be kind to you before being kind back. Be brave. Be the change. Be kind first. Kindness doesn’t look for something in return. Kindness doesn’t need recognition. Kindness it is not ego food. Kindness is its own reward. We need…

Item added to your cart