#happiness archivos - The Resilient Human Project

Sadness

Usually I’m the one (Geoffrey) who writes these posts but today I would like to share something my daughter, Ishtar has written about sadness. I'm so full of sadness today. It feels like waves against my skin about to break free at any moment to puddle around my feet. It feels real, sometimes solid in my chest until I let it free and it crumbles to dust or to that liquid that makes the waves. This cycle is repeated over and over again. My days are usually full-on the whole day. I’m always moving, thinking, twitching, tapping my fingers and balancing on the balls of my feet; it's like having…

That sweet moment of connection

If you try to bring mindful awareness to your life and if you meditate, you will be familiar with the different states of your mind: how it changes, moment to moment and day to day. Some days your attention rests easily in the present moment; you are aware of thoughts arising and releasing them is easy. There are also days when the mind is more active and to maintain concentration is more difficult as the mind is shouting for attention like a spoilt child throwing a tantrum. In these moments simply sitting still can feel uncomfortable. The practice of mindful meditation is a great teacher of patience and humility. Then…

Happiness – chasing it won’t make you happy

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you; but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder. – Henry Thoreau We have become confused about happiness and it is making us unhappy. Let me put it another way: it is not the purpose of your life to be happy. However, if you believe that it is and make being happy your objective, you will make yourself unhappy. Evolution has provided us with a basic guiding force, a drive that is shared by every sentient being: we naturally have an aversion to suffering and…

Attitude of growth

To live well is to embrace change. Constant change is the natural state of the universe; nothing is permanent. If we cannot accept or adapt to this fact then we are less likely to experience happiness and wellbeing. One of the key attitudes for resilience and thus happiness is the “growth mindset”. When we adopt a growth mindset we are more resilient and we are committed to a process of continuous learning. We are better able to manage change and uncertainty, which in turn means that we are more likely to experience happiness in our lives. A growth mindset is a much better predictor of success and happiness in life…

Selective focus color image depicting a caucasian woman in her 30s wearing a protective surgical face mask and plastic surgical gloves during the coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic, in a bid to stop the spread of the virus. The woman is pushing her shopping cart inside a supermarket while shopping for wine and alcohol in the alcoholic drinks section of the store. Room for copy space.

Not your fault but it is your responsibility

Have you ever asked yourself just how much time and money you waste drinking alcohol? The time you dedicate to having a good time rather than happiness? For many years I didn’t understand the profound difference between these two states. Happiness is about moving towards our lives. Drinking alcohol is about moving away from our lives. Happiness is about being able to handle difficult feelings and find the peace and connection we all have within ourselves. Drinking is about trying to anaesthetise those uncomfortable feelings. Alcohol is an addictive drug and like any other addictive drug, if you consume it regularly then you become dependent. Alcohol is fun for the…

Which sort of happiness do you prefer?

Happiness has become something of an obsession in our society. You only have to look around you; there are so many books, videos, blogs about the subject. In spite of this, there are still many anxious, depressed and unhappy people. Very few mention that the best way to find happiness is simply to stop searching. You have all that you need to be happy − right here, right now. So what do I mean when I talk about happiness? For many years I thought happiness and having a good time were the same thing. They are not! Having a good time is about aversion; it is about escaping your life…

What is meditation for me?

Briefly: Meditation is about reducing suffering and the causes of suffering in my life and the life of others; also increasing happiness and the causes of happiness in my life and the life of others. In more detail: Meditation for me is the basis of emotional intelligence - also peace, health, happiness and having a meaningful life. A healthy mind means a happy heart. I learned that happiness and peace are always there within me; I just have to learn to get out of my own way to experience it. I experienced a difficult, chaotic, and abusive childhood. I have worked many workshops, therapies; all have been useful but the…

Ego run wild

So much suffering is caused by when we try to live up to an imaginary or idealised self. Happiness, fulfilment is and always will be based on an authentic relationship with ourselves.

Are you successful?

If your definition of success is very narrow, for example, getting into the Guinness book of records for eating the most hotdogs or having the longest fingernails, whilst a bit weird, it is essentially harmless. But if, for example, a business has profitability as it’s only measure of success, then it will sacrifice the wellbeing of both its workers and customers to achieve this. Sadly, there is no shortage of examples of this. If we are awake to the reality of connection, then success must be defined as something that is good for not just you, but for others too. What is the point of success if we have to…

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