#feelings archivos - The Resilient Human Project

Learning is uncomfortable

Learning is uncomfortable, growth is uncomfortable. Personal and emotional growth nearly always requires facing an uncomfortable feeling or emotion provoked by a perceived difficult situation. Unfortunately, when such uncomfortable emotions arise, our “autopilot” reaction is “get me out of here”. We might avoid feeling uncomfortable in the moment, but the long-term price or consequence include stunted emotional growth, unhappiness, difficulty in relationships, anxiety, panic attacks and even depression. Over time this instinctive aversion becomes automatic and occurs so quickly that we don’t even know it has happened. It becomes an invisible force driving our actions. We find ourselves repeatedly in an undesirable situation (eg toxic relationship, wrong job, same arguments…

Forgiveness – what does it mean and how to forgive

The ability to forgive is a vital skill for your wellbeing. The greatest benefit of forgiveness accrues to the person doing the forgiving. This process of forgiveness is for you. When we are unable to forgive, we constantly relive (rather than simply remember) the wrong that was done to us. Each time this happens the body goes into survival mode. In other words we suffer an acute stress reaction. The cumulative effect of this reaction can be very dangerous. Studies carried out in Northern Ireland showed that those people who could not forgive and move on, were much more likely to suffer addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide, and were less…

I don’t know what to do, I’m desperate!

If that describes how you feel right now then congratulations! The circumstances are right for growth. You might think that I am pulling your leg, but growth is rarely comfortable. Personal growth, by its very nature, means stepping outside of your comfort zone. All of us have a desire for self-realisation (to be the best that we can be and live the best life we can live). This desire is stronger in some than others. Life is a series of problems. The universe sends you a problem. If you succeed in solving the problem then the universe sends you another problem. So it goes! If you do not solve the…

What you resist, persists

Perception is everything. Perception creates a feeling and we act out of that feeling. How is an attractive woman perceived? To her lover she is perceived as a delight; to the monk she is a distraction and to the bear she is simply lunch! Based on these perceptions, the lover runs towards her with open arms, the monk looks away and the bear eats her up. Our perception determines our behaviour. An event arises in our field of consciousness; we perceive it in a certain way, which in turn creates a feeling, and we act out of that feeling. When I first came to meditation, I spent my time trying…

My little corner

Ishtar Molloy shares a little something: Welcome to a little glimpse of why chaos is beautiful for me. I get lost when I try to find myself I think, my place in this world. I have a beautiful little cozy corner of it, but many times, it's easy to step out and tumble into society with all those empty goals and expectations of success, so it is quite a challenge to make my way back. The good news for me is that I always have some little feelings sprinkled in my pocket that help me get back. My little corner is made of real things. It's made of lots of…

Two things that will really make a difference in your life

Two things that will really make a difference in your life: The ability to be kind to yourself. The ability to identify and be with uncomfortable feelings and emotions. Being hard on ourselves, harsh self-criticism are often the tools that we use to be “good”; to push ourselves, to make sure that we do what we ought to do, be the people that we ought to be. The basis of this way of being is fear; fear that if we stop, we will become somehow unworthy ~ a failure. This becomes most apparent when we want to “fix” something we believe is “wrong” about ourselves; some habitual behaviour that we…

Turn towards or turn away

A sensation of discomfort arises, but before you consciously register your discomfort, your “autopilot” cuts in and you turn away from the sensation. You turn towards your habitual distractions - distractions we’ve all been conditioned to pursue: work, shopping, TV, sex, alcohol or another drug/activity. We are very creative, so there are lots to choose from. All of this happens in a split second. It’s so automatic, so fast, you don’t see it; you don’t know it’s happened, but it is precisely this loop which keeps you stuck, repeating unwanted behaviours in spite of your conscious desire to change. If we are ever to find peace in our hearts then…

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