#ego archivos - The Resilient Human Project

It’s wonderful to be alive

We spend so much time thinking, planning, organising, managing, that we never really experience being fully alive and fully aware. In our hectic distracted lives we are too busy worrying about the future or rehashing the past. When we are like this, we stop interacting directly with the world and our lives; and instead, we get lost in an internal monologue crammed with our ideas, concepts and judgements. Like an empty house, the lights are all on but nobody is at home. This Sunday I went for a walk with my wife Rhea and my daughter Erika. The sky − grey and overcast, the temperature − fresh but not cold,…

Letting go

The path to self-realisation is learning about letting go. We have all to a greater or larger extent rejected ourselves and adopted a character to get by in life. What character that might be, depends largely on decisions over which we had no control: decidsions made by our parents, our families and our teachers. We simply adapted by adopting a character, a way of being that got us through all of that. The problem is that we forget this was just a strategy, a character that we created to get by; instead we end up believing we are that character and the “certainties” the character contains. We believe that is…

The trap of spiritual materialism

Chogyam Trungpa (who died in 1987) continues to be an important teacher to me. He coined the phrase “Spiritual Materialism”. The term describes a common experience; it is what happens when you give your ego the job of searching for your truth. The ego, with its desire to always be right and always be in control, with its need to be the star of the show, happily accepts responsibility for the search. But because it’s the ego, any piece of spiritual wisdom is used simply to inflate itself. After a retreat the ego feels pumped up: “I am so much more spiritually mature than these ignorant others”. The desire to…

The persistent illusion

Whatever way you cut it, whatever the point of view: physics, spiritual, social, organisational − we are not only connected, but also highly interdependent. The point of view that goes counter to this is that of the ego. Ego creates separation. When we live from the perspective of the ego (as most of us do, most of the time), we divide the universe into two categories: Me (everything inside this bag of skin) and mine (everything that belongs to what’s inside this bag of skin). This gives rise to the bubble in which most of us live, most of the time − the bubble called the “me centred universe”. From…

The enraged badger

The ego wants always to be right. This characteristic of the rational mind, the compulsive need to be right, can become a lunatic living in your head, shouting crazy shit which, if you believe it, utterly fucks up your life. (excuse the swearing.) The lunatic lives in a special apartment in your brain. He takes away your peace. He makes you feel helpless and angry, over and over and over again. Here’s the thing; it was you who rented him the apartment in the first place. It happened when you chose grievance over forgiveness. When you had to be right and simply couldn’t let go! We all have experienced suffering.…

Your hairstyle or your mind?

Our culture prizes the illusory idea of personal autonomy. This severely limited perception and the behaviour it creates is making us unwell and destroying the planet. Many people have described the experience of life arising from this idea as the sense of “doing better, but feeling worse”. The very best thing that you could do for you, your family, the people close to you and everyone else on this earth is to train your mind and raise your consciousness - experience yourself as more than an insatiably hungry ego. The fundamental nature of ego is separation. Ego is also the root of most suffering. Most members of our society spend…

I’m right

A question I often ask of a group is the following: “What is most important to you, to be right, or to be happy?” People look at me like the question is a “no brainer” as they answer, “to be happy of course!” I then ask, “how do you behave in your everyday life? The answer is usually accompanied by a smile of realization as they reply, “To be right”. The thing that the ego hates the most is to not be right. So much discord is created by the ego’s need to be right. We are all guilty of this. I certainly am. For example, you are arguing with…

Ego run wild

So much suffering is caused by when we try to live up to an imaginary or idealised self. Happiness, fulfilment is and always will be based on an authentic relationship with ourselves.

The importance of feeling wonder

For me, a vital part of my wellbeing is to experience the sensation of wonder. Wonder gives me perspective; it helps to raise my eyes, my awareness. Instead of scratching around like a chicken in the dust of my ego, the experience wonder is to soar like an eagle. A sense of wonder arises when you step out of your ego, connect with and experience the “bigger picture” - the miracle and mystery of existence. However one chooses to look at it, we are the way the universe understands and appreciates itself. Science indicates that a little under 14 billion years ago the universe came into existence through the “Big…

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