Practices for life
Quality sleep, meditation and mindfulness, gratitude, compassion, forgiveness and courage are practices that help you towards happiness.
Be kind
Great teachers have appeared throughout human history, and in many traditions − Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Shintoism, Judaism. Their teachings, although given in different times and in different places, have things in common: kindness, gratitude, compassion, forgiveness and love. We are essentially hairless primates with strong egos and strong tribal instincts which distort these great teachings to create the basis for massive hierarchical organisations where politics, tribalism and appearances become more important than the original teachings. Followers try to make an even greater mystery of these teachers by creating a divine hagiography. Unscrupulous men and women will often use these organisations to their own benefit. There is no doubt that…
Love VS Attachment
What is love and what is attachment? Many times, people misunderstand love. They think that holding on to someone is love. Jealousy, neediness and possession are often seen and accepted as proof of love. They think that fighting for love is love. They think that falling love is love. But these forms of love often have more to do with attachment than love. We are love; it is our natural state. However, normally we are too distracted by the ego to experience that. In Buddhist philosophy there are four elements − the four immeasurable thoughts: Loving-kindness (Pāli: mettā) − the wish that all sentient beings, without any exception, be happy.Compassion…
Forgiveness – what does it mean and how to forgive
The ability to forgive is a vital skill for your wellbeing. The greatest benefit of forgiveness accrues to the person doing the forgiving. This process of forgiveness is for you. When we are unable to forgive, we constantly relive (rather than simply remember) the wrong that was done to us. Each time this happens the body goes into survival mode. In other words we suffer an acute stress reaction. The cumulative effect of this reaction can be very dangerous. Studies carried out in Northern Ireland showed that those people who could not forgive and move on, were much more likely to suffer addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide, and were less…
Anger is hell
Anger and its twin brother hatred are based on projections and exaggeration, not on objectivity or wisdom. Johnny was living in his own private hell, surrounded by people who just wouldn’t behave how they should. His need to be right was paramount. He was constantly frustrated that the world simply would not work the way it should. He was furious that people would not see him the way he wanted them to, the way they should. He often felt righteous in his anger and hatred. He couldn’t see that 'righteous hatred' is in the same category as 'righteous cancer' or 'righteous tuberculosis' − all utterly absurd concepts. The few friends…
Which sort of happiness do you prefer?
Happiness has become something of an obsession in our society. You only have to look around you; there are so many books, videos, blogs about the subject. In spite of this, there are still many anxious, depressed and unhappy people. Very few mention that the best way to find happiness is simply to stop searching. You have all that you need to be happy − right here, right now. So what do I mean when I talk about happiness? For many years I thought happiness and having a good time were the same thing. They are not! Having a good time is about aversion; it is about escaping your life…
Compassion is the key
When we practice mindfulness and/or meditation with an attitude of compassion − that is kindness to ourselves − we embark on a life-long voyage of discovery that is rewarding and immensely satisfying. If we don’t adopt this attitude, we run the risk of using meditation like a drug: getting a buzz, an escape from our lives, a way of momentarily feeling better. If this is all we seek, we will soon tire of our practice and find an excuse to stop. Compassion is not feeling sorry for someone; that is called pity. It is not “feeling” for someone; that is called empathy. Compassion is to recognise the suffering of another…
The bee
The other day as I sat at my desk absorbed in writing, I became aware of a furious buzzing and bumping sound from my window. I recognised the sound as a trapped bee banging against the window, trying frantically to get out. I realised that if I didn’t do something quickly then the bee would probably die of exhaustion. So I got up, walked the 8 steps or so to the window and opened it. Without so much as a ”thank you” or a “bye your leave”, the bee flew away. The whole experience started a chain of thought about perception; what we can know and how to behave. Perception:…
Compassion Vs Empathy
Something that we all have in common with each other is that we all would like to be free of suffering and experience happiness. In spite of these intentions and because of our ignorance, we create suffering in our lives. Compassion is not pity. It is related to empathy but it is different to empathy. Empathy is when we “feel with” a person. We feel in our own bodies their emotional suffering. Empathy is an important facet of our connection with others, but if we stop just with empathy without moving forwards to compassion, two important things can happen. Continued exposure to the suffering of others and empathising, for example…