Tricky people

In the last retreat the subject of tricky, difficult people came up. There are people we get on well or relatively well with but with others it’s not so easy. This is no big deal if it’s a person we will probably never meet again in the future – for ex …

   


Top tips for living happily without alcohol

Some facts before we start. Everything I write here is based on independent science by some of the best researchers in the field. Alcoholism is not an incurable disease.  It is a fact that most people who get addicted get free. There is no gene that ca …

   


On Emptiness

A common experience I encounter is that of a sense of emptiness – the feeling that “there must be something more”, that “I am missing something”, the sense of “my life should feel more fulfilling, more meaningful”. This empty feeling is behind all addi …

   


Your hairstyle or your mind?

Our culture prizes the illusory idea of personal autonomy. This severely limited perception and the behaviour it creates is making us unwell and destroying the planet. Many people have described the experience of life arising from this idea as the sens …

   


Eyes wide-shut

At school we were taught that in AD 64 the emperor Nero played the violin or something similar as Rome burned. As a child I saw this story as the epitome of evil and depravity. As I grew older it became clear that the story also spoke of the human cond …

   


The benefits of 20/20 hindsight.

If you have ever taken the time to observe your rational mind at work you will have noticed two compulsive aspects namely: “time-machine” and “auto pilot”. You have probably experienced these two behaviours working together. It can happen when some eve …

   


I’m right

A question I often ask of a group is the following: “What is most important to you, to be right, or to be happy?” People look at me like the question is a “no brainer” as they answer, “to be happy of course!”  I then ask, “how do you behave in your eve …

   


The rudiments of happiness

Be present: Most suffering is caused by too much thinking. Choose to be present in your physical life, rather than in the drama of your imagined mental life. “Think less, be more!” Be kind to yourself and to others: Treat yourself at least as well as y …

   


If it doesn’t work do something else

So much suffering is caused by not taking care of ourselves because we do not know how to be kind to ourselves. Most of our lives it is drummed into us that we should think of others first and that to think of oneself is selfish – which we must never b …