Tricky People II

In our last newsletter we introduced the four gremlins – those roles tricky people take on – not just other people - ourselves too (sometimes): the blamer, the placator, the cold analyser type, the whirlwind. If the blamer gremlin takes you over, it is helpful to do the following: Express that you don’t agree without blaming others.Be aware of your fear and anxiety; don’t reject them, rather explore them with open curiosity. Give your point of view, but also see the bigger picture and express what you need. If you find yourself in placator mode, in order to find the courage to express your opinión, it can be of use:…

Tricky people

In the last retreat the subject of tricky, difficult people came up. There are people we get on well or relatively well with but with others it’s not so easy. This is no big deal if it’s a person we will probably never meet again in the future – for example, that driver who cuts us up. But if it’s with a work colleague or someone close, or worse still, an expartner… oof!... they can really topple our peace of mind. More problems in life are caused because we take offence than by others giving offence. When someone starts to unsettle you it can be useful to take heed of…

Do you take time to stand and stare?
The ruin of Crackpot Hall near Keld, Swaledale

Do you take time to stand and stare?

Rhea is writing: To my surprise, James Herriot’s books are now considered “classics”.  I just enjoy reading them. James Herriot began work as a rural vet in the Yorkshire Dales in the thirties. Here is an extract from his book “All creatures great and small”. His work involved driving to isolated farms in the country... My first visit took me up one of the unfenced roads…  When I had ground my way to the top in bottom gear, I did what I so often did: I pulled the car onto the roadside turf and got out. That quotation about not having time to stand and stare had never applied to…

Now – Today

Rhea is writing today: When I was at school (just a “few” years ago) they made us read “the classics” and all through those years I did all I could to avoid reading those books which I assumed were boring. When I had to do exams about such books, I would read shortened versions or borrow notes from some swottier friend. Not sure what’s happening now as I approach my sixties but suddenly I’m discovering why they were called “classics”… So here we go, I now quote Ernest Hemmingway and his character Richard Jordan in “For whom the bell tolls”. These words are clearly all the more poignant if you…