Ishtar Molloy shares a little something:
Welcome to a little glimpse of why chaos is beautiful for me.
I get lost when I try to find myself I think, my place in this world. I have a beautiful little cozy corner of it, but many times, it’s easy to step out and tumble into society with all those empty goals and expectations of success, so it is quite a challenge to make my way back.
The good news for me is that I always have some little feelings sprinkled in my pocket that help me get back. My little corner is made of real things. It’s made of lots of laughter, of smiles, of joy. It’s full of little sparkling bubbles of excitement and never fading memories of hugs (not the empty kind, but the kind that exchange a little bit of you with a little bit of them). It’s lit with freely given looks; those you share with a friend when being mischievous, also some that strangers trade with me for a smile or a kindness. Those two, by the way, are free to give and receive. The best thing is that we have an unlimited supply; so be generous with them. The brighter ones are like the one my mother gives me when I sing for her; the one my brother offered after being surprised with our arrival; the one my love gives me when I get home that makes me feel like warm honey is trickling in my chest.
There are so many lights of so many colors: the distant memory of a smell that comes hand in hand with a powerful emotion. The sudden tightness of throat when remembering someone who has left forever and the tears that sparkle with old adventures. The bouncy ones that represent that unconditional love our furry friends give us. There are so many and they are so beautiful, but I only see them when I am brave enough to be with them all because I can’t choose which of those feelings and memories I want. It’s scary but it’s so damn beautiful and powerful and worth it. And it’s peaceful, once I accept them all. If I try and choose, they kind of rebel against me. So when I’m brave and strong, I cry a little bit, then smile and snuggle in to my little corner.